Decisions, Decisions

Life is all about making decisions. Some decisions are easy to make while some decisions are extremely hard to make, leading to second-guessing and questioning the decision once it has in deed been made.

In March, I had a decision that I needed to make. Whether I was going to come back to Chevak for another year. I knew that I was going to be faced with this decision sooner or later, so I started thinking about it at the beginning of the year.

It would have been very easy for me to say, “Yes, I can definitely do another year here.” But I didn’t want to be stuck with the second-guessing feelings that would have been associated with a quick decision. While I was definitely leaning towards making that quick decision, I wanted to make sure that I was making the right decision.

I was thankful that I had to two friends that I was able to talk to about this decision and a family that was going to support me regardless of the decision that I made. So, I talked to my friends about my options, they suggested that I were to seriously sit down and consider the pros and cons of staying here.

There were many points for both sides, I have missed my family this whole year, and I missed the simple pleasures of being able to go to the movies or go to a restaurant, I knew that I eventually want to get a job closer to home, but was it time to start that journey? I loved all the kids that I got to know and teach this year, I could have the opportunity to move up with my kiddos to first grade, I would be able to watch my junior class graduate, I wouldn’t be another person that would walk away, and both lists could go on.

So, when contracts came out I made the quick decision and signed it. I was still torn with what to do (I guess that sometimes it only makes sense to make things difficult for ourselves). Basically, I knew that since I signed it, I was going to be “stuck” with this decision.

Ever since then, there have been certain instances where I have been shown that I made the right decision. I’m excited that I’ll be here for another year. It looks like I’ll get to move up to first grade with my kiddos, I’ll get to see my junior class graduate, I’ll get to make an impact for another year.

I’ve also made some other decisions recently:

·      I am going to be going back to school. I want to get a Master’s in counseling.

·      I am going to become more involved with the culture here in Chevak.

·      I am going to make my own Kuspuk.

Sometimes decisions are the hardest thing in the world, but it’s good to know that whatever decision is made the Lord is leading the path! : )

A little lesson in Yuraq

Yesterday I went AND participated in my first ever Yuraq practice. 

It may not seem like much, but it was a HUGE step for me. Think about being out of your comfort zone...well that is exactly what this was. Not only am I not a huge fan of dancing but this was also a completely different type of dancing. Throughout the 2 hours that I was there at their practice, I think we practiced 4-5 different dances. The entire time I had to watch the males that were sitting on the floor in front of us to follow their every move. I was so focused on them that when one of the rubbed their eyes, I did the same thing thinking that it was part of the dance!  I'm really glad that I went, in fact I definitely plan on going again next week. In a few weeks we are having another 'festival' here kinda like the one that I talked about at the beginning of the year. Well, some of the people here in the village are teaching the teachers how to Yuraq and we'll be doing them during Winter Fest. I'm extremely nervous about it, considering I'm completely uncoordinated. But I'm going to do it. 

Also this weekend I successfully made Oil bread by myself. I had some of the highschoolers test it out and they said that I did really good! I'll post pictures as soon as I get them on my computer. (I'll also have pictures from the Chevak Native Youth Olympics Invitational) Saturday, I also starting making my own Quspuk with some of the other teachers that work here. I'm still only in the beginning stages but hopefully I'll get to work on it more this weekend and post some pictures of that as well! : ) 

This week is SBA and HSGQE testing so I haven't had my kids the past 2 days. I'm looking forward to Friday when I get to see them again! : ) 

~Quyana Agayun~ 

Dear Father,

I'm not sure where I'm actually going to get with this post, but it's worth a shot. 


Dear Father,
 I don't have all the answers.A Please help me. I'm not sure I know what I'm doing. I don't even know what you want me to do. I feel lost in direction. I know that you brought me here for a reason, I'm not sure I really see the clear vision. More specifically, sometimes I question myself and you. You know the things that are troubling me right now. Please be the light that I need, not just me but those certain individuals need. There a few kiddos that specifically need a break from what's being thrown at them. Will you give them rest and peace? Give them strength and give me the strength to continue to be there for them. I'll find my strength at the foot of your cross. Quyana Agayun! 
-Love the lost and weary

Glimpse into my world...

As I've been promising for the Lord knows how long...pictures! This post is going to mainly be pictures (and there are ALOT of random pictures but I'll do my best)

Peter one of our highschool friends was teaching us to make oil bread. :)

He has to come make it for us pretty often...

Part of my Word wall...which I actually re-did today (looks like I'll have to take more pictures)

Meeting area. 

Writing Journals! They love getting to write in these! 

Eliminates a lot of fights and arguing! 

One of the tables in my room. 

The view from my classroom window. Yes, those are the swings...the snow has taken over the playground! 

Our apartment after the 1st big storm! And our apartment is on "stilts" due to the perma-frost. 

Our neighbor's apartment...the drift covered the ENTIRE door.

Another view..

Our use to be stairs...which are still to this day completely covered!

One of the smallest of the drifts in front of our door

It grows over night...

good-bye stairs

Two highschoolers that we paid to come shovel us out. It's snowed too much since than to have our door/porch shoveled out. 

One day, I went to the post office. Four of my kiddos spotted me and insisted on coming with me. Not only did they come with me, they pulled the sled, loaded the boxes, pulled it to my house and brought the boxes in my house. Then they tried to build stairs in one of our drifts so they could get on the roof. 

The drift up to our roof...this was the farthest they could climb on it.

: )

Half of my class with their pen-pal letters from my mom's class and her friends class. These letters are currently hanging up in the hallway because they wanted to show the school their new friends!

Start of the Lena B. tournament in honor of Lena B Ferguson who was a teacher/basketball coach here in Chevak! The girls getting ready for their grand entrance...

Lady Comets! Game 1 Victory

Getting ready for the first boys game

Start of the first boys game. ALL of their games were MEGA INTENSE! 

KK and Kendra. KK took all the basketball pictures for me! 

Boys game 2

Start of intense ending...

1st Overtime...

End of 1st Overtime...still tied! 

2nd Overtime. WE WON! 

Girls Championship game! Which they won! : )

Celebrating at the end of the tournament! Girls Champions...Boys 2nd place

Boys took 2nd in the tournament!

Girls took 1st!

Chevak is also hosting the regional tournament which is starting here next week! I'm not sure if I can handle it. Mary and I tend to get a little over-worked during the games! 

This week I'll be taking more pictures of what goes on in my classroom...look forward to those coming!  

Alangrua.

Alangrua= haunted

Our apartment= Alangrua

Now this is a rather touchy subject for my roommate but it's time that I share this experience with everyone else. Hey, it's one that I will want to share in the years to come so I better put it in writing. 

I can't remember when it exactly started happening but it was sure during the Winter time right before Christmas break. The highschoolers had been teasing us (like usual) that we were going to be Alangrua. We use to laugh it off. Mary would yell at them that it wasn't funny at all but it wasn't something that we ever really took seriously. 

Until it all began. Mary started hearing noises in the wall that was like an alarm clock, with a very distinct tone. After realizing that it wasn't my alarm she started to freak out. I laughed because at the time to me it was pretty funny. Mary would also wake up in the middle of the night and her lamp would be on. She couldn't remember if she had turned it on in the middle of the night or if it was turning on by itself. 

One morning I woke up and was getting ready for school. While I was going to the bathroom I heard these little voices singing (it almost sounded like Alvin and the Chipmunks) so I opened at the door thinking that I had left my ipod on (I don't even have Alvin and the Chipmunk music) and heard nothing. When I closed the door the voices started laughing. Well that got me, I went to school that day and told me aide about what was going on. 

After school, I was sitting in the office and some of the staff heard about what was going on at our apartment and they said that we were being Alangrua by Irrcinraq (little people). We learned that we are living on Irrcinraq land and sometimes they come and bother the people living there. We were assured that they meant no harm. We were even told that if we ever caught one, we could have three wished granted. 

That night she came over and saged our house while telling the spirits to leave. She also saged Mary and myself and told us that we need to pray everyday, buy sage and sage our house and ourselves everyday and if we hear them that we need to confront them (yeah right) She also hung a crucifix outside my bedroom door. 

We left for Christmas break...thankful that we would have a 2 week break from alangruaqing. 

So last week, I started to hear tapping noises at the top of my wall during the night. The tapping always sounds different (I still hear it everynight) so I know that it's not wind or anything doing it. I have even confronted those noises and told them to quit bothering me. They still do. 

Monday night really did it for me though. I don't even know if I'll be able to explain it and it make sense. I was sleeping (I think) and I was dreaming that I was sleeping (I'm not sure if I was sleeping or if I was awake) and all of a sudden something was holding me down. I couldn't see it but I could feel it. And there was something at the end of my bed pacing back and forth saying something (I couldn't understand). At this point, I think that I tried to wake up but it didn't work...so it was back to being held down, etc. When I finally woke up, my entire body felt so weird. Needless to say I couldn't go back to sleep. 

Mary also thought that she saw something in her room while she was sleeping and she began to have really weird dreams and wasn't able to sleep through the night. 

So maybe this is all in our heads, but if you were us you'd be freaked out too.

Finally, on Wednesday I broke down and told my aide again about everything that was happening. She started telling me everything that she was going to do. That night she came over and blessed our house. First, she saged our house again (she even left some with us so that we could do it until the stuff we ordered gets here) then she went around with sacred oil and placed crosses around the house. Finally, she sprinkled everything with Holy Water. 

We've been able to sleep the past few days without any problems. I still hear the tapping noises constantly during the night but I try not to let them bother me. I'll be sure to let you know if we end up being Alangruaquing agian! 

Sometimes it's like riding a roller coaster!

Teaching is like a roller coaster...up and down, up and down, Hardly ever smooth!

Today, I got another student. That brings the count up to 34. Pray for my sanity. 

I'm trying to get my kiddos ready to take a big benchmark test next week and it's been one GIANT roller coaster ride. It's never something I can expect. 

I'll admit I haven't done any official monitoring since the end of November, but I had an idea of where students were. However, today I had my mind BLOWN numerous times. Some of my kiddos that I had placed in the lower-mid range completely shocked me when they had some of the highest scores. It was discouraging when the same kiddos that scored so low still are in the same spot they were at the beginning of the year. I've tried everything to get them to learn their letters/words...I even was beginning to think that they were catching on. (I did have some kids that were at zero made a TON of progress) I'm really going to start cracking the whip on the ones that aren't making progress. I'm sure it happens in every school but I just want them all to be successful.  


My afternoon group has the bigger group of really low "readers" I have at least 6 that cannot recognize any letters of the alphabet. I've tried everything. I am now having my T.A work with them (along with the reading specialist for intervention) for additional time. I'm hoping that maybe he can motivate them more than I can. 


Next week is benchmark testing and the start of LEP (Limited English Proficient) testing (which I'll have 31 of my 34 testing for that) so I'm quite sure my kiddos will be tested out by the time that we are all finished. I'm just praying that I can show that all 34 of my kiddos have made some progress, whether it's extremely minimal or huge progress. 


Mary and I still have between 2-10 high shoolers come to our house faithfully every night. It can get tiring especially after a long day of work, but I find comfort in knowing they are safe and not being mischief while they're at my house. 


Ready or not testing, here we come!

Back to the roots.

I've been in Chevak for sometime now and while the sole purpose for me being here was for my kiddos. While that is still the sole purpose I've neglected some things and people that have been by my side through the journey. Seeing how it's a new year I've dedicated this post to those people and some of my "resolutions"


First my "resolutions"...I'm the type of person that always has these big elaborate resolutions and a week later I don't even remember what they are. This year will be different (I've probably said that before as well) 


1. Blog more- I know that there are many things that I've neglected to blog about or have just quickly mentioned them in a HUGE post about everything. After I leave Chevak (whenever that may be) I want to make my blog into a book. (It would be a pretty sad book as of now)


2. Take more risks. No more sitting on the sideline scared to take any risks. 


3. This is the most important one by far. Be more involved and trusting in my Savior. 2011 wasn't a very faith building year for me so I'm going to devote more time to my Lord and trust in His will more. 


Now onto some people that I've neglected while I've been here...


First and foremost, I've neglected to even attempt to improve and strengthen my faith. There were many times when I could have made things a lot easier on myself if I had placed trust in Him but rather decided that I could have done it all on my own. This year will be different. 


Next, the one person that had to deal with me constantly around the clock. I don't know if I ever really said 'Thank You' to him but I don't know where I would be without him. He is a true definition of a friend and I don't think I've ever had (or will have) a friend that I could count on as much as I can with him. Please understand that I did not in anyway deserve this from him. I don't think that I'll ever be able to repay him for all he's done for me, but I hope that one day I can be half the person that he is.


Finally my family. For being supportive since the very beginning! I know that I will always have their support.


I'm looking forward to this new year and to see how I can define myself more as a person! 


~Matthew 11: 28